Other than that, there are lots of ways to show the butt some safe loving when you decide to play with it. Check off these five items and you’ll be more apt to play with the tushy in a safer manner!
-
Lube
Seriously, you need lube. Good, long lasting, quality lube (not spit). Neither the anus nor the rectum make there own lubrication, so store bought is a must. I would recommend purchasing a silicone based lubricant, (like Pjur or Gun Oil), which can be found at reputable stores like Good Vibrations, Sugar, Fascinations or Self Serve. Silicone lubrication is hypo-allergenic, so it’s great on the tender bits of the body, lasts a super long time, can be used in the shower if you feel like getting frisky while getting clean and is latex safe (so condoms won’t disintegrate with it like they do with oil based lubricants).
Why silicone vs. water based? Well, any lubricant is better than no lubrication, but if you have the choice know that water based lubes absorb quickly in the rectum and have the potential to irritate the tender tissues in the rectum, potentially increasing the chances of infection transmission.
In terms of where to put the lube? Stick the hinny up and the air, wiggle it around and ask for your partner to gently rub against the anus sweetly. Then grab (nicely) the object that’s going to be going inside and rub it all over with some silicone slipperiness to keep things sliding along. Not only does using lube keep your body safer, but it also gives your partner and you an extra excuse to touch each other in delightfully fun places!
-
Go Slow and Breathe
I know, you’re eager, but when it comes to butt play, slower is way better than going at it like a bunny. Despite numerous videos’ showing some fast action and deep pounding, the safest way to engage in anal play is slow and steady.
Try breathing in through your mouth and out through your nose (this relaxes the body) and whatever action you are engaging in, slow it down, and then slow it down even more. It’s way hotter to hear your partner say “Oh, I want more” or “Go deeper” vs. “Stop! That hurts!”
-
Back on Up
Whoever is being penetrated is the person in charge. Really. They control the depth; the speed and the angle just by simply backing up onto the object that’s going into their body. If the person penetrating gets a little over eager and starts moving, the person being penetrated can just get up and walk away. How’s that for positive reinforcement? “You stay there and I’ll do very fun things with you, but if you overstep your bounds, I’m outta here.” It’s a very effective way to keep everyone in line and happy.
Backing up on the object allows the person to know when something is coming in and gives them the control to slow down or stop due to pain/discomfort.
It also fully puts the person who is being penetrated in control. By backing up it shows that they want this to take place, and that they are an active part of the playtime adventure.
Many people can be nervous when engaging in anal play for the first time, and nervous bunnies can cause the sphincters to clamp down, making things more difficult and therefore, more painful to get in.
Make sure that that the person wants their butt being played with. No one knows a liar better than the asshole, so if someone’s mouth/head is saying “YES!” but their butt is clamping down like Fort Knox, it’s time to take a second look at if they REALLY want to be doing this.
Do NOT push into a butt that is super tight and seems to be preventing anything from going in. You could cause damage to the sphincters if you push forward. Some resistance is normal; a lot of resistance is not for happy, safe, fun anal play.
-
Pain is not on the Menu
Many people have heard that anal penetration hurts. Let’s be clear, anal sex should not hurt if it is being done in a way that is healthy for the body. Pain is designed to signal to your brain something bad is going on and it’s trying to get you to stop.
One of the most common reasons people experience pain is because they are not using enough lubrication and as a result, is causing tearing inside the body. Sometimes people hear about using lubricants that desensitize the butt pain isn’t felt, but Butt Adventurer Beware! Do not use lubricants that have any desensitizing agents in them, despite their claim for being the best for anal play, as in their desensitization you won’t be able to feel pain (which is a sign of tearing). Pain is your body’s way of saying something occurring is wrong.
Pain can also arise because people are in a position that isn’t best for their body, for instance, the rectum has an “S” shaped curve to it, so when placing something in the body, make sure it’s a little flexible, so it can follow the natural route of the body structure.
-
Use a Barrier Method
Condoms, dental dams, insertable condoms (like Reality or the Female Condom) are all great options to keeping your bits happy and healthy. Unprotected anal sex is the riskiest type of sex to engage in because those darn tissues in the rectum are super fragile (meaning they can easily tear and increase the risk of transmission of infections) and because the rectum is designed to absorb fluid, making it easier yet again to pass an infection on (if someone has one). Using any of these barrier methods will prevent the transmission of bodily fluids-yay!
It’s important to note that dental dams (or saran wrap) are an important part of anal play if someone is thinking of having their “salad tossed” (Oral-Anal action). Trace amounts of bacteria may be present on the anus (so you can’t see it) but using a dental dam or saran wrap will prevent bodily fluids from mixing, making everyone happier and healthier.
Do not go from butt to vagina or butt to mouth with out a clean up first. Soap and water is a must to prevent infections from being spread. Using gloves, condoms… to read more on the HER CAMPUS website, click HERE.
