Posts Tagged ‘female sexual pleasure’

The Harvard Crimson

By ALICE E. M. UNDERWOOD, CRIMSON STAFF WRITER

As the chatter and giggles erupted throughout the auditorium, speaker Megan Andelloux banged on the table with a translucent green dildo with ridges of shimmering gold to call for silence.

Abby P. Sun ’13, co-president of Radcliffe Union of Students, the campus feminist group that sponsored the sixth annual Female Orgasm Seminar, helped hand out 1500 free condoms and cupcakes decorated with candied breasts and vulvas to the nearly 700 audience members.

“It’s a fun and communal event,” she said, trying to usher entryway groups, teammates, and groups of friends—spilling into aisles and standing in the back of Science Center C—into seats. “Hopefully it will get some conversations started, too.”

Andelloux, a sex educator and sexologist, launched into her discussion about what an orgasm is, how to have one, female anatomy, and safety.

“Sex is not just about having that climax; it’s about the whole experience,” she reminded her audience, noting that goal-focused sex can end up less pleasurable than just having fun. But that didn’t stop her from talking about how to reach that goal.

“Direct clitoral stimulation is how orgasms happen,” she said. “Trying to have an orgasm without clitoral stimulation for most women is like men trying to have one without touching their penis.”

In addition to talking about tips, techniques, and toys to make sex fun, she highlighted the importance of being comfortable in one’s body, noting that rather than feel self-conscious about their bodies, all people should embrace their uniqueness. She emphasized this with a clip from the film “Viva La Vulva,” which celebrated how varied female genitalia can be. She also showed a scene of g-spot stimulation to demystify female ejaculation, also known as squirting. The entire seminar was punctuated with laughter, questions, gasps, and audience participation.

After the presentation, RUS raffled off a variety of sex toys including an assortment of dildos, a rubber ducky vibrator, a vibrating butt plug, and a Hello Kitty massager. Audience members exploded with cries of “yes,” “oh my god,” and “I’m so happy,” as well as nonverbal expressions of delight, when their numbers were called.

“This is what winning looks like!” said audience member Ian H. Clark ’12, who won a butt plug shaped like Marge Simpson’s coiffure. His friend Anneika M. Verghese ’12, who also won a prize, noted, “I didn’t know vibrators came in this shape.”

The two were not only surprised by their prizes, but by the focus of the seminar as well.

“I did not expect to watch porn,” said Verghese. “It was uncomfortable, but interesting, especially because the focus was less on sex and more on different kinds of stimulation.”

Clark agreed that Andelloux’s discussion, and especially her focus on individual differences, was informative and fun.

“It was surprising that there was so much emphasis on how people are different and how to enjoy what people have to offer,” he said.

Brandishing the purple butt plug he won, Clark joked to his friends, “who wants to go home and practice?”

Sexologist Megan Andelloux with plush vulva puppet.

Voice Vixen here, reporting on the Female Orgasm Seminar which took place this past Friday night. Content warning, the following does acknowledge the existence of sex and is textually NSFW.

6:45 So this thing hasn’t started yet and already Science Center C is a writing mass of hot bodies, packed front to back with Harvard Students who apparently want to know the ins and outs of the female orgasm. There is a table up front arrayed with various sex toys ranging from purple to pink to… pinker. I’ve picked up a raffle ticket, wish me luck!

6:46: A group of guys sitting behind me can’t seem to say the word clitoris without whispering. One of them says he hopes to hear about some “serious technique.” I suppress judgement, it seems clear that boys of Harvard could really use the help.

6:55 It IS SO LOUD IN HERE. It’s almost like every person in the room is having a really intelligibly vocal orgasm. Rabble rabble rabble!

A capture of Lingford’s stop motion animation.

6:00 Ruth Lingford (VES Professor, Department Head) has started talking about her videos interviewing people to describe their orgasms. Her film is a minimalist stop motion animation with voiceover’s of said descriptions. It is notably replete with phrases like “chocolate mousse”, “volcanic”, “like icing”, “I thought of broccoli”. All this food talk really makes me want a cupcake. Everyone laughs at a software update popup, but the video is otherwise really interesting and captivatingly animated.

7:05 I begin to tally the number of times people say “orgasm.”

7:08 I don’t know whether to be encouraged by the number of people in the room or really, really saddened by the balls-to-the-wall, people-standing-in-the-aisles attendance.

7:16 To describe the scene, on the table in the front is a VAST array of sex toys, apparently $1000 worth of swag. Apparently the Voice’s good blogging sista, Lena Chen of Sex and The Ivy, graciously supplied the sex toys to be given away. We love you Lena!

Note: The men here are definitely, the loudest, brashest people in the audience. Voice Vixen does not like. The sex educator/sexologist however, is extremely cool and sexy. Just sayin’. High waisted skirt, white blouse, librarian glasses. A Harvard gal might steal this look.

7:21 Surprisingly, the “orgasm” iteration count is only at 8 – I think we can do better than this.

7:22 So cute/gross, everyone in the audience just said ‘Pap Smears’ altogether, like a three-year old says “Good Morning Mr. Rogers!”

FML Celebrity Sighting! Gov20 Italian guy.

7:23: Highlight of the event: women referred to as “vaginal owners”, because not everyone who has a vagina identifies as female. Thank you! This is a vast improvement upon the utterly heteronormative seminars of yesteryear.

The sexologist lays it down for us, figuratively. Some great quotes:

“Everyone has an asshole, everyone has a mouth. Those are the great equalizers.”

In reference to always using lube for anal sex: “My job is to make sure you don’t rip your butthole.”

“This is one of my vulva puppets.”

“For the love of god masturbation is good for you.”

“There are no absolutes in human sexuality.”

HOLY CRAP COOL FACT: Greatest number of orgasms had by a woman in a sexual study: 134 in one hour. Everyone feels inadequate.

7:30 There is way too much hooting and hollering from the men in here. You dogs you.

MORE TECHNIQUE/HELPFUL FACTS:

• The average female orgasm takes: 10-20 min
• Imbibing anything over an ounce of alcohol decreases the ability to orgasm, but less than an ounce makes one a little more receptive.
• Working out helps you have better orgasms, as it improves the circulatory system.
• Direct clitoral stimulation is needed for most vaginal owners to get off. “Trying to orgasm without clitoral stimulation is like a man trying to orgasm without touching his penis.”
• Orgasm isn’t the goal, there’s other fun stuff (aka goal-focused sex, a no-no).
• Super Helpful Relaxation Tip: try to make the jaw muscles slack.
• Politics do not belong in the bedroom.

7:47 “Orgasm” count now way up to 49.

7:57 We’re about to watch a clip from “Viva La Vulva.” Oh, yes, you really should have come to this. So. many. vulvas. Everyone is rapt with attention though; half the guys in the room have their hands near their mouth or their chins. A woman with really, really strong PC muscles is displaying herself COMPLETELY. I can’t help but wonder how many Harvard boys have even seen this before, let alone projected 6 feet tall in a on a screen. Vaginal show and tell.

The sexologist mentioned genital shaving and every girl groaned.

8:12 We’ve moved onto the clitoris!

• Tip: If you “split the clitoris into four quadrants” the upper left is the most sensitive. Who knew?
• Fact: You cannot stretch out the vagina lips.
• Facts: If someone is physically responding to sex their outer lips will open up. the The clitoris is actually 4-6 inches long, the exposed part being just a tiny tip of it. Is it sad that this comes as incredible information to everyone in the audience?

8:22 We’re onto vibrators and toys:

• Fact: vibrators were created for the medical community, as a treatment for hysteria.
• Fact: You can’t “break” your vagina by using your vibrator too much.
• Butt lessons: make sure your anal toy has a flange (a wide part at the base of the toy that prevents it from being sucked up into your body). The image that accompanies this advice is horrifying.

8:41: final “orgasm” word count at 67.

Final Thoughts: While Voice Vixen did not snag a cupcake, she assumes they could only have been magnificent. In any case the talk was incredibly informative. It’s amazing how mis/uneducated individuals can be about their own bodies. Voice Vixen came away cringingly refreshed as did many of the others in attendance. If anything can be surmised from the incredibly participatory, enraptured, and VOCAL student responses, it’s that the event was an incredible success. Alas, we did not win a sex toy (there was a Hello Kitty vibrator… NOOOO!) but we definitely give kudos to The Radcliffe Union of Students for their work putting this together. Look forward to it next year, and get there EARLY because there wasn’t an empty seat in the house! Harvard kids might be sexually frustrated, but sh*t if they aren’t willing to educate themselves. The main advice of the night: Relax, be safe , learn more, read more, masturbate more, and remember to relax that jaw!

Katy Perry’s song reflects a growing expression of same-sex attraction

By TANYA ENBERG

The Toronto Sun

Among the straight women I know, most have said, at some point, “God, I wish I were a lesbian — it would be so much easier.”

This usually follows a bad row with a boyfriend or hubby.

But there’s an obvious glitch preventing many women from making this fantasy a reality: Straight chicks don’t dig other chicks.

But every now and again, that thin fence categorizing us as straight, gay or bisexual gets jumped.

Angelina Jolie has dabbled with both sexes, as has Madonna and Anne Heche. Actress Megan Fox recently revealed she once loved a female stripper, and Lindsay Lohan’s love life is heating up headlines over rumours she’s dating DJ Samantha Ronson.

Is this a case of “You’re not anybody until you’ve swung both ways?”

Maybe so, says Megan Andelloux, sex educator at the Miko Learning and Resource Centre in Rhode Island.

“(With Megan Fox) my gut instinct was OK, she was named Hollywood’s hottest star, then you bring in the stripper — the ultimate sex fantasy — and it’s in Maxim magazine … It’s not like she revealed this for women in Curve or Out,” says Andelloux of the gay-focused lifestyle magazines.

While some female stars may hope to boost their ratings by driving forward male lesbian fantasies, other media messages are also playing a factor.

With everything from the TV drama The L Word and the prominence of lesbian sex scenes in porn, to mainstream movies such as Woody Allen’s new film Cristina Barcelona capitalizing on the theme, girl-on-girl action is popping up everywhere.

“It’s still pornified,” says Andelloux, “provided they’re attractive. You don’t hear much about Rosie O’Donnell and, as much as we love Ellen, she likely receives so much attention because Portia de Rossi is so beautiful.”

In recent months I’ve heard of numerous gals flying the straight-nest coop in favour of same-sex relationships.

After divorcing her husband, one middle-aged woman embarked on a year-long romance with a woman.

Then I was updated on a former acquaintance — a 30-something woman who wed her university boyfriend and had two children — who has since moved in with a female partner.

For many, the choice has nothing to do with being bored or fed up with men. Their desire stretches beyond the “one time in college” cliche or faux lesbian dance-floor kisses.

“Women are talking about being emotionally attracted to other women now, instead of just doing it to get men’s eyes,” says Andelloux. “They’re doing it more for themselves, and society is making it more acceptable.”

Growing up in a religious household, one woman says while she had attraction to other females as a girl, she’d never even heard of lesbianism as a way of explaining her desire.

Married at 17 to her high school sweetheart and two children later, she quickly found herself grappling with her sexuality.

One day, a light bulb clicked on.

The family had moved into a new home and a lesbian couple lived next door.

“It was my birthday, and I got really drunk, and asked my neighbour to kiss me,” the 34-year-old recalls.

“Something clicked in my mind — I thought ‘This is not going away,’ so I made a decision to do something about it.”

She and her ex now share custody of their kids, and she’s been dating an “amazing” woman for the past nine months.

“It’s harder for my kids than it is for me. They were worried about being made fun of. But when my girlfriend and I are with them, we’re very low-key.”

As for her sex life, it has never been hotter.

“The first time I was with a woman, I thought afterward, ‘Oh, this is what it’s suppose to be like,’” she says.

“I actually left the bed satisfied, and that rarely happened with men.”

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FAMOUS RELATIONSHIPS

- Painter Frida Kahlo was married to artist Diego Rivera and known to have sexual affairs with both men and women.

- Writer Gertrude Stein shared her life with Alice B. Toklas.

- 1920s actress Marlene Dietrich is said to have had an affair with writer Mercedes de Acosta.