1/20: Rhode Island School of Design, RI
What: Get Wet! Exploring Pleasure, Health and Sexual Advocacy
Where: RISD, Providence, RI
When: 7:00 pm
Audience: RISD students
Cost: Free!
CT College Review: Dildos and Dialogue
Students Gather To Learn About Hot, Safer Sex
Published 13 December 2010
Last Friday, everyone in the Women’s Center clutched what looked like oversized plastic Easter eggs that were not filled with candy. Their workshop leader warned everyone not to open the packages prematurely; they were Tenga eggs, flexible and doughy masturbatory tools, part of a goodie assortment that also included various lubes.
“This isn’t really the appropriate time to break them out,” their workshop leader said. “Now, to get started, if you have a cell phone, please put it on vibrate and stick it between your legs.”
Last Friday, the Women’s Center was overflowing with people trying not to sit on each other, all of them facing a table crowded with brightly colored sex toys and lube. They squeezed into the Smith/Burdick basement for a workshop by Oh Megan!, or MeganAndelloux, a board certified sexologist and nationally certified sex educator who came wielding tools of the trade to educate on “Supersex”: safe sex that’s hot and fun.
Skyler Volpe ’13, a student coordinator of the Women’s Center, said that Andelloux used to come to Conn through the Feminist Majority group, which has since been absorbed by the Women’s Center. “Her presentations were always well attended and widely talked about, so we wanted to bring her back this year,” she said. “She was glad to come back to Conn!”
“She eliminated all potential awkwardness for the audience from the beginning,” said Rachel Saltzman ‘14. “By telling us about herself and her background from the start, we could think of her as a real person and not as this strange sex speaker.”
Andelloux loosened up the crowd by chatting amiably about what led her to our campus. She worked for Planned Parenthood for nine years, but was “burned out by the bad stuff,” like the onslaught of teen pregnancy and STDs. She now wants to teach young adults that there are ways to make safe sex exciting, no matter your gender or sexual orientation.
“I really enjoyed how diplomatic and sexually unbiased she was,” said Alia Roth ’14. Andelloux took the time to explain that she would differentiate between “penis-owners” and “vagina-owners,” but these terms did not imply gender identity or sexual preference.
Her presentation commenced with a plush vulva puppet she named Veronica, the exploration of which allowed the audience to view a cartoonishly large, fluffy replica of the clitoris, the labia and even the G-spot (Stickers exclaiming “The G-spot does exist!” were included in the goodie collections).
Andelloux bluntly explained that “while deep-dicking sounds lovely,” there are more nerve endings towards the front of the vagina, and fewer the deeper one ventures. Additionally, the clitoris is about six inches long, but can get up to eight when stimulated, and is most sensitive in its upper left quadrant.
Sequentially, Andelloux hefted out an alarmingly large and apparently rare uncircumcised dildo to educate about the penis. She explained that circumcision was not the only method originally employed to suppress children’s sexual desires: the blandness of Kellogg’s Corn Flakes and graham crackers were also used. They, as she pointed out, did not work.
Andelloux shared other “fun facts” throughout the presentation, including a few on the penis: length is not as important to vaginal stimulation as girth, the average speed of ejaculation is thirty five miles per hour (though the shots can reach eighty), the scrotum is constantly moving, and (lightly!) pulling down on the sack during foreplay or intercourse, will delay orgasm.
This last one was particularly useful information, because Andelloux then indicated that the average national penis-owner “lasts” about two minutes.
To demonstrate, three volunteers were called to the front of the room and instructed to thrust with invisible partners, persistently.
“You’re doing it wrong!” Andelloux yelled at them as she stood aside, smirking. “You’re not going fast enough! Faster! Ow, you’re hurting me!”
The crowd was atwitter and the volunteers were panting and laughing when she called Time; they had cleared a mere 46 seconds.
Next on the agenda was a discussion of the orgasm, which Andelloux indicated to be very healthy for the body: it lowers stress, helps sleep, can alleviate mild depression, and even allows wounds to heal faster.
She then transitioned into a talk on vibrators, tools originally created as a treatment for hysteria.
“Some people don’t want to use them because they say they want to do it ‘the natural way,’” said Andelloux. “Well, toilets aren’t natural, but they make our lives better.”
Vagina-owners on average take ten to twenty minutes to get off, which means the best way they can achieve orgasm during intercourse is through practice with self-stimulation first. “The G-spot is not like the Staples ‘Easy’ button,” said Andelloux.
The workshop drew to a close after an extensive run-through of sex toys and supplements, from lubes (the water-based kind can increase STI transmission, she cautioned; go with silicon-based instead) to strap-ons (Volpe unabashedly volunteered to wear it as Andelloux demonstrated applying a condom with her mouth) to whips and funky vibrators. A crowd favorite was OhMiBod, a dildo that syncs up with your iPod and vibrates to the beat of the song of your choice.
Andelloux took some questions the audience had written anonymously on note cards. One asked for blowjob and handjob tips. She taught some moves – the ‘bottle-cap’ and the ‘octopus’ among them – but added, “Be confident, and be enthusiastic. You’d be amazed by how far that goes.”
“The center was packed, and people looked genuinely enthusiastic and interested in her presentation,” said Volpe. “It was also really cool to see so many people in the Center. It’s a beautiful space that doesn’t see nearly enough love from the campus community.”
Said Peter Herron ’14, “Andelloux knew exactly what she was doing. I would thoroughly recommend that girls learn from the vast wisdom this amazing woman has to offer. I definitely learned a thing or two myself.” •
Special Note: Water-Based Lubricant DOES NOT INCREASE STI TRANSMISSION. In controlled lab studies (not human based research), certain water-based lubricants damaged cell structures. This is preliminary research. For more information, please see http://www.microbicides2010.org/files/LubesDezzuttiAbstract.pdf
AHH…Anal Sex
Her Campus
Sunday, September 19, 2010
By Megan Andelloux
What are the health risks of anal sex aside from risk of STI? How can I reduce those risks?
Anal sex can be a wonderful addition to add to your plate of sexual encounters you can engage in, you just need to know a couple key things to keep you and the butt happy before you dive in. Outside of STI infection, the most common health risks involve: pain (due to tearing) and getting something stuck in your bum (if you put an object in there without it having a flange). A flange is a wide base at the bottom of an object which prevents an accident anal disaster i.e., getting sucked up in the bottom.
Other than that, there are lots of ways to show the butt some safe loving when you decide to play with it. Check off these five items and you’ll be more apt to play with the tushy in a safer manner!
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Lube
Seriously, you need lube. Good, long lasting, quality lube (not spit). Neither the anus nor the rectum make there own lubrication, so store bought is a must. I would recommend purchasing a silicone based lubricant, (like Pjur or Gun Oil), which can be found at reputable stores like Good Vibrations, Sugar, Fascinations or Self Serve. Silicone lubrication is hypo-allergenic, so it’s great on the tender bits of the body, lasts a super long time, can be used in the shower if you feel like getting frisky while getting clean and is latex safe (so condoms won’t disintegrate with it like they do with oil based lubricants).
Why silicone vs. water based? Well, any lubricant is better than no lubrication, but if you have the choice know that water based lubes absorb quickly in the rectum and have the potential to irritate the tender tissues in the rectum, potentially increasing the chances of infection transmission.
In terms of where to put the lube? Stick the hinny up and the air, wiggle it around and ask for your partner to gently rub against the anus sweetly. Then grab (nicely) the object that’s going to be going inside and rub it all over with some silicone slipperiness to keep things sliding along. Not only does using lube keep your body safer, but it also gives your partner and you an extra excuse to touch each other in delightfully fun places!
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Go Slow and Breathe
I know, you’re eager, but when it comes to butt play, slower is way better than going at it like a bunny. Despite numerous videos’ showing some fast action and deep pounding, the safest way to engage in anal play is slow and steady.
Try breathing in through your mouth and out through your nose (this relaxes the body) and whatever action you are engaging in, slow it down, and then slow it down even more. It’s way hotter to hear your partner say “Oh, I want more” or “Go deeper” vs. “Stop! That hurts!”
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Back on Up
Whoever is being penetrated is the person in charge. Really. They control the depth; the speed and the angle just by simply backing up onto the object that’s going into their body. If the person penetrating gets a little over eager and starts moving, the person being penetrated can just get up and walk away. How’s that for positive reinforcement? “You stay there and I’ll do very fun things with you, but if you overstep your bounds, I’m outta here.” It’s a very effective way to keep everyone in line and happy.
Backing up on the object allows the person to know when something is coming in and gives them the control to slow down or stop due to pain/discomfort.
It also fully puts the person who is being penetrated in control. By backing up it shows that they want this to take place, and that they are an active part of the playtime adventure.
Many people can be nervous when engaging in anal play for the first time, and nervous bunnies can cause the sphincters to clamp down, making things more difficult and therefore, more painful to get in.
Make sure that that the person wants their butt being played with. No one knows a liar better than the asshole, so if someone’s mouth/head is saying “YES!” but their butt is clamping down like Fort Knox, it’s time to take a second look at if they REALLY want to be doing this.
Do NOT push into a butt that is super tight and seems to be preventing anything from going in. You could cause damage to the sphincters if you push forward. Some resistance is normal; a lot of resistance is not for happy, safe, fun anal play.
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Pain is not on the Menu
Many people have heard that anal penetration hurts. Let’s be clear, anal sex should not hurt if it is being done in a way that is healthy for the body. Pain is designed to signal to your brain something bad is going on and it’s trying to get you to stop.
One of the most common reasons people experience pain is because they are not using enough lubrication and as a result, is causing tearing inside the body. Sometimes people hear about using lubricants that desensitize the butt pain isn’t felt, but Butt Adventurer Beware! Do not use lubricants that have any desensitizing agents in them, despite their claim for being the best for anal play, as in their desensitization you won’t be able to feel pain (which is a sign of tearing). Pain is your body’s way of saying something occurring is wrong.
Pain can also arise because people are in a position that isn’t best for their body, for instance, the rectum has an “S” shaped curve to it, so when placing something in the body, make sure it’s a little flexible, so it can follow the natural route of the body structure.
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Use a Barrier Method
Condoms, dental dams, insertable condoms (like Reality or the Female Condom) are all great options to keeping your bits happy and healthy. Unprotected anal sex is the riskiest type of sex to engage in because those darn tissues in the rectum are super fragile (meaning they can easily tear and increase the risk of transmission of infections) and because the rectum is designed to absorb fluid, making it easier yet again to pass an infection on (if someone has one). Using any of these barrier methods will prevent the transmission of bodily fluids-yay!
It’s important to note that dental dams (or saran wrap) are an important part of anal play if someone is thinking of having their “salad tossed” (Oral-Anal action). Trace amounts of bacteria may be present on the anus (so you can’t see it) but using a dental dam or saran wrap will prevent bodily fluids from mixing, making everyone happier and healthier.
Do not go from butt to vagina or butt to mouth with out a clean up first. Soap and water is a must to prevent infections from being spread. Using gloves, condoms… to read more on the HER CAMPUS website, click HERE.
