Cal: You’re gay, now?
David: No, I’m not gay. I’m just celibate.
-40 Year-Old Virgin
From classic comedies to the hottest pop stars (Lady Gaga) to the daughters of our favorite (or not-so favorite) political mockeries (oh hey, Sarah Palin), celibacy is officially the new sex. In a society where nearly half (46-percent) of all 15 to 19 year-olds in the United States have had sex at least once, it appears the tides of change are slowly turning. More frequently than ever, young women are standing up and hopping on the celibacy bandwagon, although something tells me this is more than just a passing fad or a new-fangled Hollywood trend. We love to talk about sex, but what happens when there’s no sex to talk about?
According the Guttmacher Institute, teens are waiting longer to have sex than they did in the past. About 13-percent of never-married females and 15-percent of never-married males aged 15 to 19 in 2002 had had sex before age 15, compared with 19-percent and 21-percent in 1995. Although the percentage difference may seem small, it also seems to be equally as revealing in a culture where being the last virgin standing is thought to be just as embarrassing as Snooki after one too many Jell-O shots at the bar (cringe).
“I think many people who don’t have an intimate partner, or even any sex in their life, feel bad because they judge themselves and their life by society’s definition of happiness—a definition that often includes being part of a couple,” says Dennis Sugrue, PhD, clinical associate professor of psychiatry at the University of Michigan Medical School and past president of the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists.
Although it’s as rare as finding Ke$ha not singing about her bottle of Jack, there have been a few celebs in Tinseltown that have openly pledged to no sex. From Jessica Simpson (or better known as a “sexual napalm” to John Mayer—who knew?) to the Jonas Brothers (who have purity rings), these celebrities have embraced their V-cards with pride.
But celibacy can get complicated—especially when it involves losing your virginity and then announcing that you want to be celibate. One of the most infamous and intriguing examples can be found with Lady Gaga—an international sex symbol—who announced in April, “I can’t believe I’m saying this—don’t have sex. I’m single right now and I’ve chosen to be single because I don’t have the time to get to know anybody. So it’s okay not to have sex, it’s okay to get to know people. I’m celibate, celibacy’s fine.”
Two months before Gaga, Bristol Palin openly reclaimed her virginity saying that she would remain abstinent until she marries, telling Oprah Winfrey, “I can guarantee it. I just think it’s a goal to have and that other young women should have that goal.”
So why are young women choosing to take vows of celibacy? “People choose to be celibate for many different reasons: morality, religious reasons, a way of centering themselves, as punishment for being sexual, and some women choose to disclose they are celibate to shake a ‘bad girl’ image they hold on their shoulders,” says HC Sexpert, Megan Andelloux. Cough *BristolPalin* cough.
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