Quick Tidbits on Kicking Up Sexual Desire

By Megan Andelloux

Much of the information presented about sex is not mind blowing. In fact, some of it may cause you to think, “Of course I know that!” But here’s the deal, there is a difference between knowing it and practicing it. So if you are struggling in the talking sex department, take these ideas out for a test drive instead of leaving them parked in the garage.

Create a Sexier You

*Define and identify what sexy means to you. What makes someone sexy? Is it the way they walk? How they smile? The way they talk? Go beyond the body parts and think about what attitudes create sexiness.

*Walk around naked as much as possible (and appropriate). It gets you more comfortable with your body.

*Strive to appreciate your genitals. People who feel better about their genitals report having more satisfying sex.

*Do your Kegel exercises. It gets blood flowing, creates stronger orgasms and makes you pay attention to your genitals.

*Masturbate. Privately (although you can do it together too). Masturbation teaches you what you like, what fantasies get you off and where you like to be touched.

*Talk about sex, your feelings, and your desires. Talking about sex and your feelings can help you feel more confident about playtime, discussing what you like or what you might like to try out.

*Stop saying “I Should” unless you really want to. “Should-ing” just leads to guilt and stress, which actually reduces the libido.

Kicking Up Desire

*Understand desire is different from libido or your sex drive. 

*Masturbate (privately). Contrary to popular belief, masturbating actually increases sexual desire.

*Do Your Kegels. They are good for you. Stronger orgasms. Enough said.

*Exercise. Exercise gets the blood flowing, makes the body healthier and increases sexual desire.

*Get help with the household chores. It’s true, people who have partners that help out around the house report having more sex because they are less stressed.

*Use your cycle to your advantage. Chart it out. Certain times of the month can increase sexual libido. If you know ahead of time when your sex drive might kick into high gear, you could plan a fun surprise to heighten the experience!

*Think about sexy things throughout the day. Your brain is the most important sex organ there is. Work it out.

Redefine Sex

* Get rid of the term foreplay. Foreplay is part of sex; it’s not just something you do to get to sex.

*Hold hands, connect and touch your partner outside of playtime romps. Become sensual. Enjoy your partner’s body. Enjoy your body. 

*KISS Your partner hello and goodbye. Really kiss them. Linger in your partner’s lips. Enjoy the sensations you sought when you were first dating. Kissing helps you reconnect with your partner, but if often gets taking for granted the longer a relationship lasts.

*It’s more than technique. Maybe you’ve read every book there is to being the best lover, but if your head isn’t into it, your body is going to have a hard time getting aroused. Good sex is about connecting, experiencing and feeling. Good sex is about playing, laughing, being fully present, feeling your emotions, connecting and experiencing the sensations that arise.

Kicking up sexual desire can be tough work, but the good thing about it is most of the recommended tips are free. So the next time, you’re bored or strapped for cash, you can work on your libido! Learning more about yourself, experience new dimensions and play, it’s all part of the course to having a healthy sexual persona.

Find more sex ed articles on sex advice by visiting FunLove.com.